Able To Laff!

For People with a Sense of Humor

Random Joke

QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS

“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygen and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

“When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”

“H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”

“To collect fumes of sulphur, hold down a deacon over a flame in a test tube”

“When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide”

“Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state”

“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

“Blood flows down one leg and up the other.”

“Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.”

” The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader

“Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.”

“Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.”

“A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.”

“Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.”

“The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, I, o and u.”

“Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.”

“Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky.”

“Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

“Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”

“Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.”

“To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.”

“For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.”

“For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make Artificial Perspiration.”

“For Fainting: Rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.”

“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”

“For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.”

“To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.”

“For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.”

“To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.”

“The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.”

“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”

“The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.”

“A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars,and eight cuspidors.”

“The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”

“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.”

“Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.”

“Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”

“Liter: A nest of young puppies.”

“Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.”

Random Toon

Alien Girl

Random Kewl Pic

kewl-00072

Random Artwork

art-0000

Random Video

VIDEOS

Drawing From The Inside-Out

The Frantics-Vikings Invade

ODDEST Marionette Show

Wonderful New Drug Hits the Market

Stunt City - Degree

How to ‘Peel’ Hard-Boiled Eggs Without Peeling

Why women stay single

Beer commercial…doesn’t really need a translation

VERY short runway

The Frantics - Battleship in the Backyard

Super bowl commercial not aired on Sunday

100’s of flying sumo wrestlers

Dancing skeleton

Lost in the desert

AWESOME dance troup
…more here

Problems with boats

Messing over a telemarketer

The Frantics - Boot to the head!

Ring of Fire

Stroll down memory lane

Stuck on an escalator

Leave it to a politician to explain simply

Sarah Palin Speaks! — The First Interview

ODD dude!

44 pound cat!

Light a fire without matches, a lighter, or wood

Buncha OOPS!

Chair

Shootin hoops

What’s Wrong With My Car?

A bunch of old interesting vids here

BALL STUCK IN TREE

Went With the Wind

Nose job

OOPS!!

Strange happenings in San Francisco

Marlboro Transformer II

Strange friendships

How the British taxi their war birds.

Man Vs Chimp

Name that TV Theme - A game for Baby Boomers

Paul Hunt - 1988 Olympics balance beam

Olympic bloopers…those painful moments that leave us wondering
how some of these people avoided serious injuries.

Paul Hunt - 1988 Olympic floor gymnastics

French guy competes in the streets

Paul Hunt - 1981 Olympics uneven bars

Women’s gymnastics falls

1992 Olympics Barcelona. Derek Redmond. Had a great chance to Medal but
pulled a hamstring part of the way thru the race. His dad jumped
out of the stands to help his son limp to the finish line.
Millions of kudos!

Smart parrot

OK, Now What?
(one we always wanted to see….)

Bean at the Beach

Women… know your limits

Willie Wonka’s Secret

Bad judgment

Stupid Kid Blows up Engine!!

German speed bump….THAT will teach ‘em!

Sleepy

Busy dog

Water accidents

SOME wedding!

WHAT THE HECK!